


Beautiful Black Mud

by gilswaifu (Resident_of_Fiction)



Category: Fate/stay night & Related Fandoms
Genre: M/M, fate didn't acknowledge gil's clairvoyance until after fsn and zero so i have free real estate, in which gil absolutely does not at all care about kirei, references to the endings of all three routes, so spoilers and minor references to the violence in them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-09
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:01:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26367610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Resident_of_Fiction/pseuds/gilswaifu
Summary: Gilgamesh is unable to control his clairvoyant dreams. Yet why does what he sees there worry him so much?
Relationships: Gilgamesh | Archer/Kotomine Kirei
Comments: 8
Kudos: 50





	Beautiful Black Mud

_A tainted lake of mud. Black liquid curses filling up, up, and up until they could no longer hold back and spilled, overflowing. A dagger._

_A castle of stone, blood, betrayal, more blood. This is not just one betrayal. Fire. Ruins. Blood._

_A cave. A dark tower, looming like a watchful god. A shattered body eaten by curses. Fists. Bones. Splintered. Metal on skin. Swords._

_The dagger that’s hit—_

_—after the spear pierces the—_

_—then collapse of an empty shell._

_Their wish. Has it been granted? Where is he? The rivers of black mud. The dark light of the cave, the fire, the ~~grail~~ blood. This is their wish. It’s beautiful. Beautiful, hope, pleasure, joy, rejoice. But where is he? Him, where is he? _

_There. Death, dagger, death, spear, death, curse. Swallowed by mud, by fire, by light and stone. Did he see it? Did he see what he has been waiting for? Yes. No. Unclear. Gone without hope, gone with hope._

_Which one is it?_

_All ways lead to death._

_He is never by his side. Where, where is he?_

_He is alone. Which “him”? Is it both? Has it always been both?_

_More, he can see it. The face, the same face, each dead. Sometimes satisfied, sometimes not. Was he happy? Unclear. There’s too much mud. No, it’s blood._

_No heart should be, so why…_

* * *

Serpentine eyes flickered open, blinking in the dark spacious room. Gilgamesh took a steady breath, then blinked once more and rolled onto his back to look up at the ceiling. His body was still, and there was no trace of sweat covering his naked form. The sheets felt as soft as ever on his skin. The church previously had coarse cotton sheets that pilled and angered him with their every touch, so he had Kirei go out and buy the best he could find. 

He had asked Kirei how he tolerated such cheap depravity, to which the only response he received was “It doesn’t matter to me.” Even then, these new sheets were mediocre at best. They might be made of silk, but Gilgamesh could still smell the musty store they came from and the harsh sting of the chemical dyes. The stench of the modern world even crept into his time of rest. It made him sick.

Turning back on his side, to the right this time, he saw the person on the bed next to him. Kirei was completely still, on his back and unmoving with his eyes closed, wearing the most boring pair of gray pajamas Gilgamesh had ever seen. He’d grown quite a bit taller since the end of the fourth war, even outgrowing the pajamas he wore before these. Gilgamesh had hoped that would mean he’d get a better pair that weren’t quite as dull and cheap, but Kirei had picked out the exact same set just in the next size up.

Sleeping in the same bed with Kirei was something that had happened naturally as they started living together. They already spent many nights exploring the realms of pleasure and transferring mana, and Gilgamesh was not one to simply get up and leave afterward. This may have been Kirei’s room before, but the bed had changed ownership, and Kirei just continued to use it as well. 

Gilgamesh stared at the curves of Kirei’s face. He blinked. That dream just now… Surely it had no meaning. He’d never seen three different futures at once with his clairvoyance before. Dwelling on this was certainly a fool’s errand. And yet… Why did he…? 

“Kirei.”

His voice was soft, but it still echoed in the quiet room. There was no response.

“Kirei.” Slightly louder this time.

Still nothing.

Gilgamesh grabbed Kirei’s wrist from where it lay by his side. It was motionless, with no beat of life tapping against his fingers. A churning feeling swallowed his stomach like a snake. His own heart sped up. He scowled with his teeth grinding together, then practically shouted, “Kirei!”

With a slight groan, Kirei opened his eyes and turned his head to look at him. “Yes?” he asked, voice hoarse from sleep.

Quickly letting go, Gilgamesh brought his own arm back to his side, clenching his hand to steady it. “You did not answer me,” he said. “Even an incompetent jester would know to answer the king’s call immediately.”

“I apologize,” Kirei answered without missing a second. “I must have been sleeping deeply.”

“I do not need any excuses. You have acknowledged your error and it would be wise of you not to repeat it.”

Kirei glanced down to the arm Gilgamesh had been holding and held it up to look at his hand. 

After a moment, a sly grin slowly formed on his face. It then began to expand until it reached wicked proportions. 

“Gilgamesh…” he began. His voice had lost any remaining trace of sleep. “Were you… trying to feel my pulse?”

Gilgamesh gave a huff through his nose. He rolled back over to his other side.

“You are aware I no longer have a heartbeat, correct?”

Gilgamesh closed his eyes and frowned, his teeth still clenched. 

“Did you think I had died in my sleep? I was still breathing, of course. Did you not bother to check the movement of my chest before jumping to a conclusion?”

“It would be wise of you to hold your tongue before you continue, Kirei,” said Gilgamseh.

“Were you perhaps…”

Gilgamesh sat up and slid his legs over the side of the bed.

“...worried about me?”

Quelling the anger building inside his stomach and rising to his chest, Gilgamesh said, “It would be quite an inconvenience to me if I were to lose my source of entertainment, and I would prefer not to dirty myself by getting mana in a way other than the one you have provided to me. Being of this world, you are one of my possessions, Kirei. It is not unreasonable for me to be angry if one of my treasures is broken.” As soon as the words left his mouth he realized he’d misspoke. 

“So I am one of your treasures then? It is an honor.”

“Just because you are mine does not make you special, Kirei. All of the world’s treasures belong to me. You are amusing, and you shall help me obtain the grail in the next war, but—”

The grail. In his dream, he’d seen the grail. And that mud… Having bathed in it himself, he could never mistake it for anything else. He hesitated for a moment, then tried to activate his clairvoyance once again. All he saw was a blurry image of the black tower. That was their goal, and yet… While he could see no more, he could tell there was something they had not intended.

“But what, King of Heroes?” 

He stood up. “I tire of this topic,” Gilgamesh said, summoning some wine and walking towards the door. 

“I wonder, _Archer_ …” Kirei hadn’t called him by his class name in five years. “If I were to ever start to bore you, would you kill me?”

Gilgamesh stopped walking with his hand outstretched to the doorknob. “As I said, you provide me with mana. It would be quite a disappointment, however if you were to become a boring man with no dreams of his own, I suppose I would keep you in my service as a common vassal.”

“So you are alarmed at the possibility of my death, and yet even if I were to betray your expectations, you would not abandon me. To put it in the words you have so often said to me, my presence is something that gives you joy. You sleep in bed next to me, you take me and my mana every night, and you enjoy being around me… Tell me, what would you call that?” Though Gilgamesh wasn’t looking at him, he knew Kirei still had that same unholy smirk upon his face.

Opening the door, Gilgamesh said, “Insolence. Now return to your rest.” There were still five years left until their goal would come to pass. And maybe in that time… perhaps he would then understand why that future, or _futures_ , caused him the moment of terror which shook him just now.

He took a step forward; the dark, looming hallway enveloping his form until not a trace of him remained.

**Author's Note:**

> my twitter is @gilswaifu


End file.
